With a pit stop in Dunkeld where the lady collecting the 20ps for convenience (absolutely no alcopops involved) clearly had never seen so many customers all year we subsequently arrived in Dundee at 12.45 whereby the quiz night winners and myself took ourselves off to the alcohol free zone allocated and the remainder of our band of merrymen and one women (who was a quiz night winner) disappeared in the direction of yet more alcohol at club 83 jammy so and so's(all barring Nigel Mansell, G-F-S who was on water – That’ll be £9 for your glass of water Sir for his round).
The quiz night Hospo winners then went to have lunch with Mr T and his wife (well he was in the same room) and just how Shed is Eddie when his wife (well I assume it was his good lady perhaps better hope she aint reading this) even sports a Utd favouring hair colour of Tangerinesque proportions (wonder if I can persuade my wife).
We had our soup (Jerren Nixon salted his and then realized he may not have needed to) and then scoffed enough food to keep Biafra afloat for a while.
On to the game which for myself and the other Inverness Arabs in hospo was the first behind glass (G-F-S Dens1983 and myself near ended behind bars when presenting our cheque to Ross county mind but this was different) and this was a slightly surreal experience especially when the piped sounds into the room made a kick on the ball sound like an explosion 5 feet away. Whoever the microphone is placed behind in the crowd really should be advised so he realises when he calls the ref an unsporting gentleman of fatherless persuasion he knows all in Hospo know what he speaketh and whichever of you 6,000 who shouted that really should be ashamed or is it applauded.
Best bit of the day for us Snecky arabs in Hospo was spending the game 5 feet from Broooooooster and co especially as Inverness arab tells me Malky’s reaction to that 2nd free kick was to turn to him and Ralph on the wing and mouth to them fookin heck or similar.
Utd as you all know took the lead from Superkid’s first free kick and then a sublime piece of skill from Sammy should have seen a certain goal only for Thug of the year Tokely to practically chainsaw him to the ground – surely a red card but oh no this is Utd after all and S Dougal is a founder member of the blind and stupid as a bat club otherwise known as the people of fatherless persuasion (see above) and produced only yellow. Miller then resorted to golf and hit the wood unluckily I have to say and a probable unassailable lead was then to turn to no lead when sloppy nay No marking allowed Thug Numero two Dods a simple unmarked header at the back post.
The game really was end to end and soon enough Utd got the second when Super Charlie (who according to Jerren Nixon was already injured and limping) took his second free kick of the day and if the first was wicked and Sammy’s run was sublime then sorry I am clear out of superlatives but lets just say top postage stamp and even Banks or Maier would have been rooted (please Mr Strachan Mulgrew is totally useless can we just keep him).
For Ralph on the wing and myself we were then summoned trackside to present the quiz night cheque of £400 from Inverness (it really should be Highland) Arabs and Dingwall Staggies to Derek Robertson aided by our two youngest travelling members. Unfortunately the personal thrill of being down the tunnel was tempered by witnessing at close quarters Caley’s (and just to annoy them lets not say Thistle) again woefully defended 2nd equaliser.
Once we had managed to persuade the young Inverness arabs to hold the club flag up the right way round not back to front and with the logo visible the honours were duly done (Sanddancer and Razor please note the use of a BIG cheque - now that’s what I call a cheque). For Ralph on the wing and myself it was back to Hospo to fight over a cake or two and being the fattest of the two I duly won. 2nd half aint worth discussing other than to echo the comments of Derek Robertson in the newsletter as to how is it we score two exceptional goals and concede not one, not two, not three but four truly woefully defended goals (I hope young Goodwillie doesn’t always provide passes like he did for the 4th).
There was little left of the day but to rejoin the other 11 travelling Inverness Arabs in their cold and disappointed state and allow George-Flemings-Sideburns to whisk us all back to our highland homes ready to do battle another day.
Special thanks to Derek Robertson and others for the day from those who were there and of course to chauffeur extrordinaire G-F-S.
Now it’s a race night we need to organize and anybody willing to help us raise funds for Heather Hird can be in touch through Inverness arabs (see official website) or I am sure Dundee United Mad will oblige with my own E mail addy.